December crept in on me taking me by surprise. Where did all my time go? I've barely been here for two months but it feels like a lifetime has passed. I was in Edinburgh this past Saturday and was reminded once again why I tell people that its my favourite city so far. I haven't been to many but it has a strong pulling factor to me. I think I love it.
Strolling through the city was enough and just looking at the sights and taking in all it had to offer. It felt so perfect in the most serene way. I wished you were there with me freezing through the strong wind. I wish you were there with me walking up the Royal Mile through the cobbled stone roads choosing cheap photographs as memories just because. I wished you were there with me to share the nutella and banana and laugh and tell stories and tell me more about you like I know nothing about you. I wished you were there and it would have been the best day. But I'm pretty sure you've moved on and I'm no longer your person to turn to. You're still mine, and nothing's change but I was there with company that was good, but they weren't you.
Do you remember when I announced to you my bucket list and how living in London was number whatever it was? I thought it was the only city in England I would be desperate to live in. But I think I change my mind. I think I'm going to add Edinburgh onto that list. I know you'll laugh and tell me nobody would follow me to all the cities I want to live in and then you'll tell me that I'm the only one crazy enough and lucky enough to make it come true. And then you'll hope that I'm happy.
I always wonder what you're up to because I can't in my mind tell what the time is at home. I dare not disturb you because you spent so much of your precious study time eating lunches and wasting away your afternoons just sitting and talking with me before my life changing move here. I wonder whether or not I should tell you or surprise you. I wonder what your future would be and whether we can hold on to the promises we make and continue to make. Then I wonder if you remember them at all.
I guess I should try to forget. I should try to enjoy my life without thinking of you in the back of my mind. I hope you realise that's just how important you are to me. I see that now. I'm sorry I didn't see that, but I do now. And I hope you do too.
Much love...
PS Yoda is floating.
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