Only see the light when its burning low...

I have a theory that I love Edinburgh. I know it sounds rather odd because don't you just know when you love something? Well, it doesn't work like that for me. I don't really know why either, but I just know I keep making decisions I question later on. Like the one I'm in right now, which is why am I even in this country?

But one thing I know is every time I go to Edinburgh (and I always end up going there for reasons outside my control) I think to myself God I love this place. I think that's pretty telling.

This last time I went there was for something bank related and I only had time to explore Arthur's Seat which I oddly never did before, because I booked a late train. Cheap train tickets people, I'm a student here...

It was rather gloomy that day, as you can see. But Edinburgh has such a romantic feel to it. Its lovely.

Lately I have been pondering upon too many life questions. I'm in one of my mood periods where the pendulum is swinging backwards and everything seems shit. I'm blaming the fact that half my entire family is celebrating a wedding in lovely Gold Coast while I'm stuck here in the grim North. And I'm blaming my upcoming exams which I have somehow failed to be bullet proof prepared for. 

The other day for the first time I told an old friend that things are not all pretty and fine for me. I struggle and I cry and I hate everything but I move on. I could have told him earlier but there're walls preventing us from being as honest as we used to be. Our youthful teenage years and promises are starting to fade away and these walls that I face with him, I face with many if not all of my other good friends. When it comes down to it, I don't know who to turn to when the burdens become to heavy for me to bear. I've found myself very lonely and isolated so many times I keep wondering where it all went wrong.

So I leave you dear readers here now, first apologising for this rather random depressing post, and then apologising for not having written anything for the past I don't know how long. And lastly to tell you that more posts will probably not be pouring in anytime soon due to the aforementioned exams. 

Thanks for reading. I hope, and I really do hope, that you're having a much better day than I am.

Love

xx