I try avoiding cliches because it drives me sick to the bones. Call me judgmental, maybe that's exactly what I am. I tend to like to keep the important things close to my heart, I don't need to tell everyone everything.
But Christmas this year has been good once again. Such a frivolous person as myself shouldn't deserve so many blessings. I feel almost guilty of the love they show me, I am not the most deserving person. But I guess that's love. A miracle in its own right. And maybe they don't expect repayment and they don't expect me to keep count, but I'll work so hard hoping to be able to give back to them what they gave to me. I know money is not everything, but it isn't nothing either.
My room's a mess and most of the time my mind is too, but I'll try to weather the storm that seems to last for years. I'll put in all I have because I don't want to disappoint you. I can't afford the things you dearly wish for at this moment, be it material or emotional. Time and money constraints us. But I hope one day you can puff your chest out when you think of me. I hope one day I can bring you all around the world, and where you won't have to worry about a single thing. I hope one day I can buy you your dream car, your dream house. I'll work my hardest for you because I don't deserve the love you showed me. And the only way I can repay you is to show you that I am aware of it, and that I am grateful for it. So I'll push harder, make sacrifices, I won't disappoint.
I'll try to stay grounded in the midst of my empty dreams drifting around the clouds. I'll appreciate you for who you are and I'll love you just as you have me. And I'll make you proud, I won't disappoint.
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