I can't sleep...

"Holy. Fucking. Shit."
"You're not allowed to bail out."

The long train rides and the long flights convinced me that I needed sleep as I stayed awake due to all sorts of interruptions you get on those things. Now that I'm in my bedroom, college bedroom, all showered up and clean, I just don't feel like sleeping. I can't sleep...

My Christmas break was horrible. It was like a war going on with myself. I was unsettled and unnerved, and worst of all I didn't know why or how to solve the problem. I figured maybe it was because I still had two terms to go. But now I'm back in Durham I feel like running as far away from it as possible. 

I think I have a problem. I think I cannot appreciate things until they're gone. More often then not, I choose for them to be over. 

Always scared and always lonely. Maybe all I've been doing is running away...

Much love...