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| Winter just won't go away |
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| This is my vacation. |
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| Note the EXAM. |
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| Just to reiterate my point. |
Its the final day of the term and everyone has a sense of freedom that has been elusive for the whole duration of this Epiphany Term. Where did all the time go? I wonder to myself, no idea. My insecurities are bursting at its seams. Maybe its because they are coming into the spotlight now there's nothing immediate I have to deal with. There's a slight air of vulnerability in the air that contains a magical aura within it. It feels like we could all be something really special if we come clean with the truth and take down our masks. But its unlikely we ever will because its easier just to run away, and so we run away.
The corridors are emptying themselves out and by tomorrow we will know who are the ones that have to go through Easter separated away from home. Tomorrow Durham will be more quiet than it already is. And somehow I think I would like it like that. The absence of all the familiar faces would take away the invisible chains that may weigh me down in whatever way they do. But as fine as I was about staying here for 5 weeks, a sudden pang of misery envelopes me as I think of home and of warmth. Winter doesn't seem to want to leave us here in England. I'm getting worried it will never.
I don't know what its going to be like but I'll continue to remind myself of the love I have and can't see, and the opportunities that I can have. I'll think about the strength that I will gain and the future that holds so much promise for me. I sit and pray here asking God to give me love that I can recognise sometime soon. Love in the form of a friend, of trust and of silent understanding. Of laughter and of magical wonder. Let all my suffering be rewarded with love. I just ask of that.
Love xx
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