Stepping back...

The memory of me walking out the plane into Heathrow sits clearly in my mind like a perfectly framed picture. Crosses are starting to fill in the empty boxes of my calendar as the days since my arrival here in Durham continue to stack up without fail. Its been a full week of hectic activities with not a moment left for me to breathe. Juggling a domestic life for myself alongside a busy academic and activity schedule has appeared harder than I thought it would be, and I haven't even had the time to meet up with friends I haven't seen in a while.

I had a little conversation with the air steward as I was walking out the plane. He saw me reading the newspapers from end to end and wondered what I was doing in England. I told him I study in Durham and his observation practically summed up my interests-everything. He asked if I had a part time job after I told him the expenses of me being here and I guiltily replied no as my presence in this part of the world relies solely on the ability of my parents to work. I never thought I would be sitting here right now being able to have my own income especially not with the pile of rejections I received last year (all shapes and forms, text messages, letters, emails, verbal, you name it I got it.)

Yes, I have a job. There is a probationary period which I am still in but at least I know I have half a foot in the door. My first shift will start next week and I feel really challenge with the task I will have to do but with the level of support shown so far, I am hopeful that everything will be ok.

The air is already a cold chill forewarning what might be an intense three months of winter. Rumour has it that last year was the worst winter England has seen in a hundred years, then why is the wind blowing more fervently this time round? It was all a big lie. Looking out the window to the down trodden wet roads and dull skies is a sad sight and makes me look forward to huddling snugly under my feathered quilt to stay away from the cold that never seems to allude this place.

So far things have gone better than I've hoped. I remain thankful every single day firstly for my loving parents and secondly for all that I have been given the opportunity to experience. I'm still the same as I was last year, hopeful and big-eyed, but a little less naive and a little more prepared. I still don't know what the hell I'm doing on earth or even Durham for that matter or where I want to head off to after graduation. I still ask the big questions and even little ones that matter to absolutely no one but myself. And I'll always be the overly keen girl talking about work (but doesn't actually want to work) because that's just how I am. Some people can't deal with it and maybe last year I've been too wary of pleasing everybody. This time round, I know my limitations and I embrace them because I can't be a perfect person. I hope to meet some good people along the way but if I don't, tough luck.

As much as I would love life to be all rosy and red, I know that the fall can be pretty deep. And for some one like me with little direction, big ambitions and a crazy mind, comfortable just isn't going to work, meaning that I'll be encountering a good amount of challenges. I'm learning to embrace it. I will be a better person.

Thank you for reading, I hope you have a lovely day.

Noughts and crosses...

Don't judge a book my its cover. I know this saying letter by letter, it is only seven words after all. Living it out is a completely different story. The cover of a book can preempt the words waiting behind the covers. Therefore, I often take a book's cover pretty seriously in making my decision whether or not to get a book.

+Malorie Blackman's Noughts and Crosses has a cover black and white in colour, cut off by each other right in the middle. Strong, contrast, dangerous. These are things that crossed my mind the first time I saw the cover. I even thought it looked a little boring for a book with the sort of hype it has garnered from the few people who have read it. The title doesn't give much hint as to what might come either, therefore giving a yes to let go of my money was quite hard.

A friend and trusted book pal and I were talking about books we have read and books we have to read. She brought this book up and the phrase "must read" came up many times. Knowing her knowing me, I decided it was time, even if I knew that it would be a deep dark story and my mood was not exactly aligned to it.

Malorie Blackman writes about racial disharmony and discrimination, much like our real life world where segregation plays a constant issue in many countries. The difference in her fiction and our world is that there, the coloured people are the ones who are the high flyers, the elite, the bureaucrats where as the fair skinned are the ones on the sidelines, living day to day, scraping by with just enough. The coloured are known as Noughts and Crosses for the light skinned. The lines that separate these two groups of people a drawn hard and solid, with strong disdain between the two.

Enter Sephy and Callum. Sephy is not just any Nought, she is among the elite group with her father a major player in the political scene. Sephy's family is all power and all money. On the flip side of the coin is Callum, whose mother works for Sephy Hadley's family as a helper, with skin as fair as it gets. They live a typical Cross life serving the Noughts and living a life not full of opportunities having to dig long and hard for any light to shine through.

Sephy and Callum are close friends, given that they have known each other since Sephy was running around in diapers. As they approach the age where the blurred lines between Noughts and Crosses get clearer, they find keeping their friendship under a constant pressure from either side of the draw. Sephy's friends slant their eyes towards Callum and Callum's family accuse him of trying to be better than they are. Each dealing with troubles brought about by the harsh segregation. Caught in between the web is Sephy who tries her hardest to show that the colour of her skin means nothing to her, but each step she takes seem to push everyone away while Callum struggles to understand the inequality he faces.

The story is told through the eyes of Sephy and Callum, their voices alternating giving the reader a good perspective looking in from both sides. This gives the story an extra turbo charge flying through the plot in lightning fast pace. There seems to be no rest between pages and each word absorbed brings the reader closer and deeper into trouble that never seems to allude both of them.

I really liked this book and was really affected by the end of it. I know its good when I can't wait to go on reading through the whole series with the only thing holding me back is the need to step back into my own life for a little while (and money). The story is very intense but shakes you up and makes you reflect on life and what it might really mean. Does segregation still exist in our lives? Yes. Are we really defined by the colour of our skin? No. Why do we do it anyway?

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Would I recommend this book?
Absolutely.
How much do I rate this book?
5/5
Would I read other works by this author?
Yes

Thanks for reading!

Back in time...

The air was cool and crisp at dawn as I waved goodbye to my family. This isn't my first time but I had to look away to stop tears from falling down. Leaving home doesn't get any easier, it gets harder every year. I used to travel happy, excited to live through new experiences and meet new people. Nowadays, my eyebrows form a frown which threatens to stay permanently shaped like that. Gone is the girl who looked through eyes of naivety replaced by a harden heart and weary eyes.

For the next 15 hours I float in between transits and being stuck up in the air. The plane bullets through the sky over oceans gracefully but all I want to do turn back and run home. I struggle to get rid of the image of my family enjoying breakfast at our favourite shop and already I miss all of it even though I have barely left. An inconsistent pattern of sleep forms and I feel like I'm caught in a time warp as time stops making any sense. 

Welcome to London Heathrow, thank you for choosing to travel with us. The captain's voice resonates through the sound system marking my official arrival into the country. Thanks to backward timing, I have covered the majority of earth's air space and will arrive in Durham all within a day stretching my 24 hours beyond its true frame. The London air is both refreshing and intimidating, blowing past my ears as I walk through the tunnel from the underground service to King's Cross. I get a reality check as the chill tingles my skin and I am reminded that its is back to wearing scarves, tights and five layers for warmth. I think about the things I brought with me all packed up within 5 hours and suddenly I wonder if I brought any winter appropriate attire with me. 

All around me people are clamouring to check the times and platforms looking onwards to reality. All intersecting each others' life at this point in time here. I sit alone with regret that didn't have the sense of mind to travel with a companion hoping that my second year will not reflect this kind of life, wandering what it would have played out to be had I chosen a path well worn by my friends.

In yet another bullet-like time capsule, I claim my seat next to the window and listen as the men in front fill the train with their football conversation. As hard as I try to stay awake, my mind drifts in and out of slumber as we pass through the night. Farther and farther north I travel and I can feel myself getting nearer to the place that will host me for another 7 months. As familiar sights come into view, I feel a tightness around my heart and it gets harder to breathe. Coming back here is like walking straight into the giant's mouth with open eyes. This place haunts me as it is here that I started to understand what loneliness feels like, what growing up feels like. It has hit me at my most vulnerable leaving me crouching down instead of standing up tall. It is here that I build my confidence up and tear it down with my own bare hands, and yet I am walking straight into another year here. 

I like to think that all the things I go through is God's way of teaching me a lesson. Right now, I don't think I really want to know what point He is trying to make anymore. My tenacity and drive still in place but wearing thin by harsh weather, I don't know if I'll be strong enough to see it through the storm. I'm so tired of being push down and step on. As much as I want to, I know turning back is not an option. I'm a different person yet again, looking through a different set of lenses. I'm not as optimistic and hopeful anymore but I'll try and look for the silver lining. It get's better, I'm told.

Cinder...

When I first heard of Cinder, I remember it being described as a modern day retelling of Cinderella. I was skeptical and didn't think I would ever pick up. Reading the decription, you'll soon find out that the story revolves around a cyborg who goes by the name of Cinder. She live with her stepmother and two stepsisters reflecting the traditional Cinderella story. I was rather intrigued by how this concept can be applied to the old fairytale, and alas under the weak strength of my willpower, I bought it. Finishing the last page, I realised that the similarities between the original and the retelling just about stops there, which is a good thing.

The story is set in New Beijing in times ahead of us. There, cyborg are detested and treated as second class. Everytime the word Cyborg is mentioned, my mind instantly wanders to Cyborg from the cartoon Teen Titans, big, bulky and rough. This made it hard to conjure the image the author meant for Cinder. Their world is one which is quite different from ours and discovering the nooks and crannies of it was interesting in itself.

Cinder as  person is super cool as we,l as an amazing mechanic. She earns her living fixing gadgets in a dingy and dodgy shop in the market place. Given her reputation as one fof the best, the Prince of New Beijing out of options and in desperation seeks her help in fixing he's android. Thus is the start to all things interesting and twisted in the life of Cinder as she gets dangerously entangled in the web of the Prince's world.

Upon reading the last words of the book, I was eager to get my hands on the next book in the series. Unfortunately, the word broke is super relevant to me at the moment. Marissa Meyer did a great job creating this world as well as the characters. Cinder sounds like someone I would go on a rocket ship adventure, not to mention her computer fixing skills which would match my technological breakdown-proned self.

This book is only the beginning of what is to be an exciting adventure. It is quite different from the pool of other Young adult books out there. Cinder is an unusual heroine given her circumstance and her strong character as she navigate her way through the maze of life.

Buy from:

The Book Depository
or

Would I recommend this book?

Yes 

How much do I rate this?

4.5/5

Would I read other works by this author?

Hell yea the rest of the books in the series!

The Internship

If you've been reading my blog recently, you would have realised that I was an intern. This would be obvious given my series of blog post all starting with the title "Intern Diaries...". I swear I did not choose to watch this movie, but me being an intern and us (cousin, sister and I) watching this movie may have some serious positive correlation. My cousin and sister like to bully me for being the intern.

This movie is about two grown man played by Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson who are salesmen. They're great at what they do, but their company is lagging behind modern times and is shut down, leaving them both unemployed. Down in the rut and all, they apply for a google internship and amazingly defy the odds and get through the interview phase to be interns for the summer. 

I didn't really have much expectations for this movie, I rarely do anymore afraid of the disappointment I'll have afterwards. Right from the start, Vince and Owen portray the kind of characters they always do. Vince the smart talking guy who convinces anyone about anything he wants to and Owen the go with the flow easy living blonde surfer dude except less surfer and a little bit more urban this time.
Both are super out of touch with anything to do with technology and the internet. 

They start their internship without a clue in their thick headed skull and find  themselves within a pool of teen IT geniuses, setting the stage for this funny movie. There were scenes in this movie that were golden, the kind that you would have sudden flash backs and unwillingly let out a laugh while sitting in the bus. There were also lines that you would throw back and forth with friends because it made you laugh till your stomach hurts. There were also things I didn't like very much about the movie. Vince and Owen talked too damn much at times. Understandably, they're salesmen and that's what they do, but my line was crossed a couple of times and I wanted to reach out into the screen and knock their coconut heads together just to get them to shut up.

Coming out of the theatre, we were still talking about the movie and laughing about the funny scenes. Having had a few options before choosing a movie to watch, we certainly made the right choice. I really enjoyed the movie and got more that I expected from it. The Internship is definitely a great movie to watch on a Friday night be it with friends or even family (parents included, though they might scratch their heads in confusion over what Instagram is, much like Vince and Owen's characters).

Would I recommend it?
YES
How much do I rate it?
6/10
Would I watch it again?
No

ps the last scene ;)

Thanks for reading!